The lesson that I’ve been learning lately, is that I have to let go in many regards. I can’t be the suffocatingly over protective mom that I am naturally inclined to be, and I have to tell you, this is hard!!
With my first, all I want to do is check every aspect of his homework and make sure it’s perfect. If I do that though, he won’t learn from his mistakes, so I’ve been fighting the urge, and instead only help him solve problems once he has gotten them wrong in class. Is it more frustrating for us both? Yes. But let me tell you that the lesson sticks with him more! Since changing to this method, his grades in math have improved tremendously! Where he was only getting B’s before, he is now scoring in the top of his class on his tests. It’s amazing!!
Then, with my middle, I’ve been thinking about having him tested for the gifted program for quite some time, but I’ve held off, because I was waiting to see if he would ever come to say that he was bored. Well, the time has come, and he has finally told his teacher that he needs harder work. I asked his teacher what she thought, and she agreed that he should be tested. I think it will be good for him, because the kid is cocky in nature. As much as I love his natural confidence, he especially needs to know how to handle not doing well. I don’t want a failure in his adult life to ruin him for good. I also want him to have the experience of making mistakes, so that later he has the right mind to steer clear of similar situations.
As hard as it is to see any of my kids do poorly on a school assignment or make a mistake with their friends, I am secretly jumping up and down for joy when it happens for them. Why? Because, they are learning a valuable lesson. They are learning how to cope with disappointment. They are learning how to cope with mistakes. They are learning how to cope with sadness, and grief. They are also learning how to forgive themselves and how to move forward.
All of that is how my kids are going to learn to grow up one day, and that is how they are going to blossom into the successful leaders (whether that be as fathers, or as professionals) that they have the personalities to be.
So, while I feel like I’m going against the grain of normal parenting these days, I really feel like I’m doing the right thing.
Do you guys ever feel like that? Like even though you are doing something unconventional, it’s what’s right for you and your family?